Skip to main content

Finding Art Again

It's been a while. A lot has happened.

I have been absent from Etsy, from Blogger, and from art, really, for a while. Though it has been such a home for me for many years, in the last few months various circumstances in life and down-in-the-dumps moods have kept me from wanting to pursue beauty.

Then, on July 14th, my father passed away unexpectedly.

So, how do you go back to art? How do you go home again?

I have tried writing and reading. I've tried seeking inspiration in nature, but as I watched rabbits bounce around the lawn every evening beyond the window where my father slept in hospice care, I turned away from the gentle and pervasive beauty of nature. Rabbits remind me of my broken heart, of many tears spilled, of my great loss.

How do I go back?

I want to honor him in some way. My father held a deep passion for the natural world. He was startled, mystified, inspired, humbled, and renewed by it. His long walks into the woods, his baths in cold streams, his peaceful floating upon lakes, all of the little things (acorns, sticks, rocks) he gathered and took home with him connected him to the natural world. To the cycle of all things. To life. And yes, to death.

I was comforted knowing he'd flee the binds of his body and join the spiritual world beyond the windows - a world he related to much better than the tangible and physical world. I know his soul joined with the trees, the rivers, the rabbits.

But in my sorrow, I feel left behind. I feel left out. I'm afraid to turn my heart out again to the pasture of the world and let beauty in. I'm afraid it will hurt.

My little creatures, my small wool friends, are so innocent and delightful. They come from a place within me that delights in the small, the soft, the lovely. A place that delights in the innocence of animals and the worlds I've created for them in my imagination.

In my art room, I have closed all evidence of this joyful world off. In boxes. In the closet. There are many, many unfinished wool friends. But I'm afraid to welcome them back into my life. I fear that by holding them, I will be reminded again of the great loss of innocence that happened as I lost my father.

So I am struggling. I am working towards finding joy. Finding beauty. Finding art.

I'm hoping that when I again turn something lovely in my hands, be it a river-worn stone or an animal of my own creation, that I can invoke the greatest gift my father gave to me: a true appreciation for the beauty of the world. Even if it hurts sometimes.

I hope to get back to it. I'm very sad, but I want to do something with my hands that's familiar. I want to create again. I want to go home.

So that's life for me for past little while. I have received many sweet notes from customers and people who follow my blog and Etsy shop. I'm touched and delighted by your kindness.

Blessings to all...


Comments

  1. So very sorry for your loss~ send love and kind thoughts <3

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

On Wool and the Future of Woolnimals

I love animals. The greatest moments in my life involve animals. In fact, there isn’t a fond memory that I have that doesn’t somehow include animals or the natural world.
It’s not surprising that my hobbies and artistic pursuits have always involved the animal world as well. Over time, my interests focused on needle felting and creating small friends that make me smile and bring joy to others. I’ve had my Woolnimals needle felting business for nearly a decade and it has been a huge source of happiness and relaxation for me.
Shortly before I left college, I changed my major from English to Eco-Psychology. I began studying the connections between humans and the natural world. My studies focused on the understanding that direct experiences with wilderness and the natural world foster compassion and a sense of place. In turn, this sense of belonging fosters stewardship for the natural world. When we feel that we’re an important part of something, we tend to take care of it. We come to …

Shop Update!

These new friends are now available in my Woolnimals Etsy Shop! Free shipping too!

Thar He Blows!

Sometimes you just need a whale made out of wool. I know I do. I almost can't stand to sell this whale because I've been trying to perfect the shape for months. I finally got him looking how I want him to look...but I can't tell you how many whale-esque cat toys there are floating around my house. I think he's one of my favorite creations ever...and he's for sale in my shop!